The best man plays an important role before, during, and even after the wedding ceremony. Think of him as the right-hand man for the wedding. The role comes with a number of responsibilities that need to be accomplished for the wedding to be a success.
This is precisely why you need to be very careful when choosing the best man for your wedding. Normally, it is your brother, relative, or best friend who best fits this role as your best man needs to understand and relate to your needs.
Even so, not just any relative or best friend is suited for the task. Discussed below are some of the considerations you need to make while searching for the best man for your wedding.
The best man needs to be a calm, task-oriented, and organized person. The first preference should be given to family members, including brothers, fathers, uncles, and cousins. The honor may also be extended to best friends, either male or female.
Read on to learn the responsibilities of a best man at a wedding as well as how you should go about choosing one.
What is the Role of a Best Man in a Wedding
Just as is the case with the maid of honor, being the best man comes with a set of specific duties and responsibilities. The best man is required to assume many duties in his role to the groom. Knowing what is required of your best man will help you choose a person who is best suited for the role.
The duties and responsibilities of a beat man may be divided into three broad categories as follows:
Choosing Before the Wedding
In most cases, the most important responsibility of a beat man is to organize for and throw a memorable bachelor party. It may be just as simple as a good meal and party or a trip out of town, but it needs to be spectacular. Traditionally, a bachelor party involves paid entertainment but much will depend on the groom’s preferences and budget.
It is the best man’s responsibility to plan for the event in detail, a task that calls for a lot of organization. The best man needs to understand and factor in the groom’s preferences as well as be in control of almost every aspect of the party.
In this regard, here are some of the key best man’s responsibilities:
- He should factor in what date works for everyone and have a wet weather plan, just in case.
- Know who is coming and whether to go out of town or keep it local
- Choose activities that the groom, as well as everyone else, will love
- Understand the budget and keep track of those who have paid and those who are yet to pay
- Choose where to eat, stay, and party, all of which need to be booked in advance
Planning for a good Bachelor’s party can be a daunting task; it requires careful planning and precise execution to give the groom and everyone else an incredible experience. The best man needs to be someone who knows you very well.
He also needs to have a clear understanding of the groom’s preferences, interests, and personality as they are key considerations when planning for the bachelor’s party. Whether he is paying for his tuxedo or not, the best man is required to go to a fitting prior to the wedding day.
The best man is also expected to attend the rehearsal as well as the rehearsal dinner but is not usually required to give a toast. He is also expected to help the couple to do several other things in preparation for the big day.
During the Wedding Ceremony
At the wedding ceremony, the best man is required to assume the role of the groom’s right-hand man. This often encompasses a myriad of things, ranging from walking the maid of honor down the aisle to helping the groom relax. To begin with, the best man should help the groom get dressed for the wedding and ensure that he gets to the ceremony on time.
He is also considered to be a witness to the wedding vows and is even expected to sign the marriage certificate to attest to the same. The best man is required to carry any payment that is supposed to be given to the officiant—this payment needs to be made prior to the ceremony.
Additionally, the best man should hold the bride’s ring, or even both rings during the ceremony. He should also stand for wedding photographs, either after or before the ceremony. Though not mandatory, the best man may also be asked to seat the important guests, such as the couple’s parents and other relatives.
At the Reception
The best man should walk the maid of honor to the reception. At the reception, the best man is expected to toast the couple—give a short speech. Traditionally, it is entirely up to the best man to decide what he wants to say. It could be something sad, funny, joyous, or a combination of these.
Other things the best man is required to do after the wedding ceremony include:
- Sit next to the groom at the head table
- Dance during the bridal party dance
- Where necessary, he is also expected to assist in the garter toss
- If rental, it is the responsibility of the best man to return his, groom’s and groomsmen’s tuxes to the rental shop.
While these are the main responsibilities, the best man may be required to go over and beyond depending on the prevailing circumstances. As such, it helps to get someone who is dedicated and is willing to go over and beyond.
Who is Usually the Best Man at a Wedding?
In most weddings, the best man is either the groom’s best friend or relative. It could be a brother, cousin, uncle, father, or even your childhood buddy. Nowadays, there seem to be no restrictions as to the number and gender. You can have more than one best man and have them share the responsibilities.
If none of your male friends and relatives seems to be a good fit, it is also acceptable to choose a female for the role. If you have to choose a lady for this role, you should first consult with the wife-to-be to see whether she is comfortable with the idea.
How to Choose a Best Man for Your Wedding
The best man is essentially your right-hand man before, during, and after the wedding ceremony. While looking for the right person, you may make a list of the people you would consider for the role. This includes your brother(s), cousin, father, and best friends.
From there, you can narrow to the right candidate based on other considerations discussed below:
1.Should You Pick Your Brother as a Best Man?
Yes, your relatives should have the priority where possible. However, having a male sibling does not make the choice for the right best man any simpler. You still need to choose a person who can meet—and if possible—exceed the expectations.
A relative would be a great choice as they are more likely to know your preferences, personality, and interests better than any friend. If you have several brothers, you could even choose two or more of them to be your best men then split the responsibilities between them.
If your brother is not the responsible sort, you could still choose him as your best man then delegate most of his responsibilities to a best friend or the trusted groomsmen. If any of these does not apply to your case, you will need to choose a best friend for the role. In either case, there are several other considerations you need to make, some of which are discussed below.
2.How Long Have You Known Him?
Your best man should know you very well, which can only happen through your interactions with him. If you are to sign this role to a best friend, it is advisable to choose the one you have known for the longest period. This is a perfect opportunity to reward the friendships that have stood the test of time.
In addition to being a longtime friend, your preferred best man needs to possess the best-rounded character. It should be someone you have been with you through several stages of your life. Most importantly, it should be someone you can trust and rely on.
Being chosen as the best man is an honor. However, this role comes with many responsibilities. As you have learned above, a best man is expected to meet certain expectations. Can your preferred candidate manage this level of responsibility?
In this regard, it is advisable to choose a best man who is:
Is he a person you can rely on to do what he promised when he said he would? The person you choose should be reliable enough to do what is expected of him/her without any supervision. Get someone who is known to make plans and follow them through.
Well, you do not need a hall monitor or an office manager for that matter. The best man will be meeting and interacting with different people while planning for and during the wedding ceremony. Your preferred candidate needs to have an agile touch while dealing with the vendors, in-laws, guests, and various professionals facilitating the wedding.
This being the case, you should choose the best man who finds it easy to relate with other people in the best of manners. He needs to be confident, but his handling should not appear to be forced.
The best man is charged with many responsibilities before the wedding as well as during, and after the ceremony. This is someone who needs to know and follow up with almost all the Where(s), who(s), and what(s) of the wedding. Additionally, he is also required to assist the groom with the preparations as well as coordinate the activities of other groomsmen during the ceremony.
To ensure that all these are accomplished in time, choose someone that is calm, task-oriented, and most importantly organized.
3.Does He Know Your Future Spouse Well?
This is something that many grooms tend to overlook. Choose the best man who knows much about your relationship with the wife-to-be. This has been proven to make wedding preparations and plans easier. It will also make the celebration even sweeter and more fulfilling.
The best man will be required to make a toast at the reception. In this regard, his knowledge of your space and the relationship will come in handy. Having a better understanding of you, your spouse, and the relationship, in general, allows the best man to look and feel genuine.
The best man does not need to be of great eloquence, but it helps to have one who is a good public speaker. He needs to be confident when speaking in public for the sake of his toast at the reception. You may also choose a person who has a palpable measure of taste.
4.Does the Best Man Really Care?
Does your preferred candidate really care about the success of the wedding and your priorities or is he just out to meet his obligation? This may appear to be obvious but this is not always the case. Not only should he understand your priorities for the wedding, but he should also be willing to go the extra mile to ensure that they are met.
Maybe you have a guestbook you would want everyone to sign and leave a message in or you would want people to get into the dancefloor immediately after the first dance. Get someone who is driven and is willing to do what it takes to ensure that your priorities are accomplished.
For instance, he could go table-to-table to ensure that your guestbook is filled, or calling for people to get on the dance floor before the first song has finished.
Ultimately, your preferred best man needs should be detail-oriented and solution-focused. His primary focus is making sure you and your bride have an incredible day, even if that means that he has to do a little running around to make it happen.
Family members, especially the groom’s brothers, are often chosen to play the role of the best man. You could also choose one of your best friends to be the best man in your wedding. Whether friend or family, ensure that the candidate is reliable, sociable and organized.
For the sake of the toast at the reception, your preferred best man should also have good oratory skills. Other than that, your choice of the right best man should be influenced by your preferences.