We have to build a world we wanna be in…
More and more
Am beginning to understand
Of the most basic kind.
The choice (if we’re lucky enough) moment by moment to sustain a beating heart.
The choice for blood to flow inside or outside.
The choice to slam my head into a wall.
The choice to wake up with that same sinking feeling in the pit of my gut, that worry, that doubt, that nagging continual verbiage of “suckage”.
That in every moment
Every single moment
Without exception I am making a choice.
There is nothing else but choice.
There will never be anything else.
I don’t care what they say, there is never anything else.
Choice to speak with positive outcome and positive intention.
Choice to wake knowing I did my best because my choices backed me up.
Choice to not lie to myself or others.
Choice to not do the wrong thing.
Choice to rise above the stupid concept that I didn’t know what the wrong thing was.
Choice to not think thoughts that make this moment harder
and if I do have a dumb, useless thought to just disregard it as a thought and isn’t who I am.
Choice to perpetuate suffering, choice to stop it, self and others.
Choice to be an asset, to assist, to help.
Choice to love myself.
Choice to look people in the eyes.
Choice to put my phone down.
Choice to make eye contact.
Choice to decide what love really is, to explore it, journey into it, choice to truly be in love, always making love, not your pleasure versus my pleasure but our pleasure.
That maybe the freedom I seek is simply in the choice to build a world I wanna be in…
You know? Why be present if I don’t wanna be here?
Maybe I don’t want to change, maybe I don’t wanna stop suffering, maybe I’m not ready.
- Because it is really hard to be here.
Or maybe I do. The CHOICE is mine.
All it ever was, all it’ll ever be, CHOICE.
Peace and Blessings