I am doing whatever you say I’m doing. I am your story of me, no more no less. This is how some people and their concepts stick inside of our heads, because our story around them is that they are inspiring or motivating or repulsive. I am your guru if that’s your story of me. I am your enemy if that’s your story of me. Byron Katie says, “There’s no one out there but your story,” in her book loving what is.
You tell one story of your partner and you turn yourself on. You tell another story of your partner and you turn yourself off. Uninvestigated stories often leave chaos and resentment and hatred and all the concepts that are no longer true. Investigated stories are full of wisdom that can only be unpacked felt and realized within the exploring, sharing and telling.
I think about pornography and our possession with it; it’s less the act of sex and watching the act of sex and more the story that we fantasize over. Sleeping with a stepmom, sleeping with a stepdaughter, moms in general, and the average guy who can get three girls in the gym to sleep with him.
For boys primarily, sex is less about the enjoyment of the action and more the story that is earned. The ability to say, I had sex, I had sex again, I have so much sex, i’m always having sex, I am a person who has sex; and isn’t that what boys are supposed to do?
Stories give us gratification or they tear us down.
Even the idea of the story has made its way into social media. Instagram released “stories”- curated way to choose what you want to show the world. A very very small part of yourself you want to reveal, a controlled story of how you want to be seen. Now, what if I believe the story of my story? What if, I am those 5 videos and nothing more. They are not who you are, they are not the boredom and fear and doubt and they do not allow the space to meet yourself, they are 15sec clips of you- they are exactly that, a story that you tell yourself about who and what you are.
“I’ve been hanging myself by that story my whole life.” – excerpt from Loving What Is by Byron Katie
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