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6 Steps To Healing Your Inner Child And Guided Meditation


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A simple and powerful meditation to help heal your inner child. Your overall well being, confidence and self esteem are all influenced by your inner child.

According to John Bradshaw, author ofHome Coming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child, the process of healing your wounded inner child is one of grief, and it involves these six steps (paraphrased from Bradshaw):

1. Trust

For your wounded inner child to come out of hiding, he must be able to trust that you will be there for him. Your inner child also needs a supportive, non-shaming ally to validate his abandonment, neglect, abuse, and enmeshment. Those are the first essential elements in original pain work.

2. Validation

If you’re still inclined to minimize and/or rationalize the ways in which you were shamed, ignored, or used to nurture your parents, you need now to accept the fact that these things truly wounded your soul. Your parents weren’t bad, they were just wounded kids themselves.

3. Shock & Anger

If this is all shocking to you, that’s great, because shock is the beginning of grief.

It’s okay to be angry, even if what was done to you was unintentional. In fact, you have to be angry if you want to heal your wounded inner child. I don’t mean you need to scream and holler (although you might). It’s just okay to be mad about a dirty deal.

I know [my parents] did the best that two wounded adult children could do. But I’m also aware that I was deeply wounded spiritually and that it’s had life-damaging consequences for me. What that means is that I hold us all responsible to stop what we’re doing to ourselves and to others. I will not tolerate the outright dysfunction and abuse that dominated my family system.

4. Sadness

After anger comes hurt and sadness. If we were victimized, we must grieve that betrayal. We must also grieve what might’ve been–our dreams and aspirations. We must grieve our unfulfilled developmental needs.

5. Remorse

When we grieve for someone who’s died, remorse is sometimes more relevant; for instance, perhaps we wish we’d spent more time with the deceased person. But in grieving childhood abandonment, you must help your wounded inner child see that there was nothinghe could’ve done differently. His pain is about what happened to him; it’s about him

6. Loneliness

The deepest core feelings of grief are toxic shame and loneliness. We were shamed by [our parents] abandoning us. We feel we are bad, as if we’re contaminated, and that shame leads to loneliness. Since our inner child feels flawed and defective, he has to cover up his true self with his adapted, false self. He then comes to identify himself by his false self. His true self remains alone and isolated.

Staying with this last layer of painful feelings is the hardest part of the grief process. “The only way out is through,” we say in therapy. It’s hard to stay at that level of shame and loneliness; but as we embrace these feelings, we come out the other side. We encounter the self that’s been in hiding. You see, because we hid it from others, we hid it from ourselves. In embracing our shame and loneliness, we begin to touch our truest self.


Does this resonate with you? What are some of your favorite guided meditations? We’d love to hear from you, please share your comments with us in the comment section below


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Christopher Rivas

About the author

I’m Christopher Rivas and I’m the founder of LifestyleDezine. I’m an artist, actor, championship storyteller, and I have a real cute kitty named Chance.

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9 Responses to “6 Steps To Healing Your Inner Child And Guided Meditation”

  1. Sébastien

    Wow! Such awesome tips in regard to healing our inner child and guided meditation, I love meditation in different ways, I remember there were awesome days when I’d first time try to meditation for the fun of it and it was fantastic, I glad to have a blog to accompany me in my quest.

  2. Marty Deemst

    Thanks for sharing this helpful information. You are inspiring me for meditation. I’m sure most people can take notes from this article. One thing most people lack experience while meditation. I have a couple of young friends that are trying to meditation soon. Well, this post gives us some good ideas for meditation.

  3. Laura McNab

    I just read through your entire blog and I found it quite interesting. And yes you are right that meditation is important is important for mental health when it’s done properly and safely. These are really essential and helpful information for meditation. Thanks.

  4. Erin Noblr

    I thought everyone had forgotten about John Bradshaw. He was a man before his time. A maverick. A soothsayer. Almost a “Cassandra” in his day. I adore him. Most therapists today have never heard of him (I know because they give me that vacant, blank look when I say I want to do Inner Child work a la John Bradshaw). Thank you, Christopher, for referencing him and his groundbreaking work. He was a man with heart.


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