“I am, by calling, a dealer in words; and words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.” – Rudyard Kipling
1. Life is fair
Living life trying to secure justice never pays off. Well, unless you’re an attorney, then maybe. There will be lots of times when life is unfair. It sucks but “it is what it is.” The sooner you accept that and stop wasting your energy wishing it wasn’t, the more of your life you’ll actually participate in. There are plenty of things in life that are fair too. Your new assignment is to seek them out. You will find what you go looking for. You will get what you ask for, what are you asking for?
2. Suffering is bad
Suffering just feels bad while it’s happening. But, suffering is also the first rule of happiness according to the Buddha – in this life there is suffering – and until we can accept that we cant even get to step two. Suffering also has a silver lining that never gets the credit it deserves; suffering helps us grow and get to the next place in life. Let’s face it, if not for suffering, we’d never stop our busy lives to expand in ways that make our lives better.
Suffering is almost always a stepping stone to somewhere better. Suffering is also a word that we have labeled as being bad, but its as constant and beautiful as change. Failed relationships get us to the successful ones; illness helps us examine who we are and what matters; grief reminds us we are human and we can survive after inevitable loss; and the list goes on and on.
3. You are in control
Although you are responsible for your own life and your decisions, there is much more that goes into the synchronicity of life for which you’re obsessively planning and preparing. “Bad” things will happen; plans will get changed at the last minute.
Life will play out differently than you want it to and the more you expect that, the better off you’ll be. Being in control is an illusion that drains your energy, puts you on edge and makes you miss all the good stuff.
4. People are obligated to love you a specific way
People love you in the way they know how. You can always focus on why they’re not supportive enough or compassionate enough or why they always say the wrong thing at the wrong time. But, the fact is, you don’t get to make that call. We all have the ability to love, but our capacity to do so is unique. So stop demanding people love you how you think they should and start focusing on the fact that they do love you.
5. Keeping the peace actually keeps the peace
Keeping quiet or trying not to hurt someone at the expense of you own happiness is outdated. Not only does holding back put a serious stress on our physical bodies, but we aren’t doing a service to those we are trying to save either.
We have an obligation in life to not only call ourselves to “our greatness,” but to call others to theirs too. How can that happen if you’re not willing to stand up tall, shine your bright light and be an example for those around you?
Now that you know these five beliefs, work on releasing them from your life. When you’re feeling stuck about something, ask yourself: Is this because I’m attached to how this should be instead of how it actually is? I guarantee you’re going to see a lot of opportunities where you previously saw roadblocks to happiness.
Any thoughts you want to share, traps you find yourself falling into, please share in the comment section below or via facebook.
A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes. ~Hugh Downs